Who Are Black Women to You?

When the dust clears, who is still standing? 

I am confused. I am terrified. I am depressed. Yet above all, I am angry. 

Growing up, I was raised in an environment surrounded by Black women. Incredible Black women at that. Whether it be my mother, sister, grandmother, or aunts, I never had a moment in my mind to doubt that these women were anything less than the embodiment of strength and wisdom. My grandmother specifically had lived through the Civil Rights Movement and would tell us all stories about the America she grew up in. These women have been imperative to my own personal growth, and thus me becoming the woman that I am today. 

Even as I speak about my personal upbringing, I recognize that my admiration and appreciation for Black women is too often an isolated feeling. We are underappreciated, ridiculed, and disregarded. That being said, it’s important for Americans to realize something… 

We would not be anywhere near where we are as a country without the work and sacrifice of Black women. 

I need you to read this once. And then read it again. And then another time still. Black women have been at the forefront of every progressive event in the United States. Whether it be Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad, Ida B. Wells and Sojourner Truth in their fight for women’s suffrage, or Marsha P. Johnson and the Stonewall Riots (which pushed transgender rights to the forefront of media), America will forever be indebted to Black women and their unwavering boldness. As a consistently marginalized community, we have a perspective lacked by many to see the unfairness of the world and finding the solution to that problem. We are constantly called to defend and support those around us. We show up every time. That being said… 

Sometimes the oppressive factors that are invisible can be just as harmful. 

It can be truly exhausting to always scream for others with little in return. Don’t get me wrong, I know we would all continue to do it without any thanks. Still though, it can be pretty disheartening when the same people you were standing up for not only get to enjoy the effects of your advocacy but also turn right back around and demean the women who pushed for those rights. 

As I mentioned earlier, the United States would not be anywhere without the prowess and determination of Black women. Our specific sector of the Black community has faced years of ridicule and strife that remains unique from others. Not only must we stand against the systemic racial oppression in the government, but we are also subject to critique based on nothing more than racism. 

Colorism at the hands of our own community seeks to degrade the self-confidence of Black girls everywhere. After all, when the media explains to you from the moment of your birth that darker skin is not attractive or desirable, the message is spread that dark skin is unattractive. Take a look at who the media has pushed as the most beautiful Black women and ask yourself why. While Beyoncé, Zendaya, and Halle Berry are stunning women, where is the love for their darker skinned counterparts? Could it be because they are truly not beautiful? Or is it because darker skin is seen as more masculine, more rugged? Is it because lighter skin is viewed as a synonym for femininity and softness, and thus the standard of beauty? Young Black girls deserve to be told that they are beautiful in any and every single setting, regardless of the melanin concentration in their skin. 

There’s also the issue of racist headlines and featured picture in the media. Whenever I discuss this with my friends, I always remember a headline about how Camila Cabello was “intimidated” by Blue Ivy Carter. Not only was the notion of a child “intimidating” an adult ridiculous enough, but the headline was coupled with a picture of Blue Ivy frowning, while Camilla smiled on a red carpet. 

Now I know what you’re thinking: Trinity, that’s a bit of a reach. Let me go ahead and answer you on that: it’s not. Media conglomerates of that stature understand that every single word and visual aid must be chosen perfectly to incite the reaction they want. At that moment, they consciously decided to enforce the notion of the “angry Black woman,”; even if this Black “woman” was barely five years old.  

These detriments serve to do little more than to tear Black women down. They reinforce the idea that Black women, subject to centuries of callous mockery, should have the strength to weather every storm, regardless of what direction it comes from. So in light of this, let me tell you that… 

Black women do not exist to serve you and your conscious. 

Let me explain further. I, nor any Black woman, will be a modern-day slave to world perception anymore. We do not always have to be strong. We do not always have to endure. Black women deserve to be soft. We deserve to be feminine. We deserve to have dreams and aspirations. You don’t get to be comfortable with our struggles. You don’t get to view our main function in society as some sort of relentless armor. We deserve rest. 

Black women should be allowed the same agency and opportunities of other communities to live their lives fully and completely. Young Black girls should feel comfortable wearing whatever clothes they wish, without fear of having their body sexualized. Young Black women should be able to innovate fashion, hairstyles, and every other trend without the worry of it being appropriated. 

We deserve to be free. We do not exist to save others. We were not created to act as your shield. Let Black women be Black women. Freely, unapologetically, and completely. Every single one of you owes us that. 

Now, let me just say that above all….

Black women must be valued. 

When I began writing this article, it was directly after the latest news on the Breonna Taylor case was released. 

Just as a quick summary, Breonna Taylor was a young Black woman in Louisville, Kentucky who was killed in a police raid in her sleep. The police broke into her home on a no-knock warrant, to which they were met with warning shots from her boyfriend. They in turn shot into the apartment, killing Breonna. None of them has been charged with her murder. 

A grand jury decided to indict one of the police officers with “wanton endangerment.” The charge focuses on how he might have exposed Breonna’s neighbors to harm if he had hit them. 

Now, I wish I could say that I am surprised. Or shocked. Maybe even a little bit dismayed. Unfortunately, I cannot describe myself as any of those. Instead, I am exhausted. 

Breonna has been used as a meme, a song, a caption, and a way to chase clout. Her name became correlated with being “woke” with performative activism. She was stripped of her Blackness, and in that her humanity. It is disheartening at best and demoralizing at worst. 

Even after all of these years, Black women are always ready to stand up for others. We are prepared to fall on the sword in the name of justice. We are the blueprint of pop culture trends. There is no culture like that of Black women. 

Black women deserve to have someone stand up for them. To love them. To appreciate them. To value them. 

So now that we’re to the end of this article, I must ask: who are we to you?